How Embracing LGBTQ+ Culture Helped My Mental Health
Up until very recently, mainstream representation of LGBTQ+ individuals has been essentially nonexistent. For centuries—millennia, even—being gay wasn’t seen as an option or legitimate identity, and when it was, it was still overwhelmingly frowned upon. Thankfully, things have changed, and there has been real progress in terms of representation & acceptance; but still, there is a tendency to only portray the hardships of coming out, the ugly sides of homophobia and transphobia, and the struggle of rejection. But as a LGBTQ+ woman myself, I want people to know that being LGBTQ+ isn’t always about facing challenges, and it isn’t always so hard. Being LGBTQ+ has made me the person I am today, and I want people to know how much it’s helped my mental health, not just how it’s hurt it.
1. Loving Myself Through Loving Women
Exploring my attraction to women has really helped me learn to accept my own body. I’ve had a difficult relationship with almost every part of my body at some point: my weight, my skin tone, my height, my body hair, my skin imperfections, and on and on. It would be false to say that these insecurities are all gone now, and that I don’t still have a complicated view of my body. Nevertheless, learning to accept my attraction to women has helped me see myself as “one of these women.” By this I mean that a lot of features I am insecure about in my own body, I find attractive in other women; and so, if I know that I love these features in other women’s bodies, I know that I can learn to love them in myself.
2. Escaping The Usual Pressures of Femininity
When I was younger, femininity seemed like an impossible achievement to attain. While girls around me all seemed to collectively learn how to do their hair, or put on makeup, or all-round act in a feminine way, I never could get the hang of it. At times where I did manage to go through the motions of femininity, it felt ill-fitting, temporary, and pathetic; like any moment now, people would realize I was a ‘fraud’. That mindset of mine completely changed once I met people who had decided to be wherever they wanted on the spectrum, neither completely masculine nor completely feminine. I learned that it’s okay to be in-between femininity and masculinity, or outside of both. It’s okay to accept certain aspects of femininity for yourself and reject others. It’s okay to try out ‘girly’ things just for the sake of it and realize that you don’t like them. It’s okay to not want to try certain aspects of femininity at all.
3. Feeling Part of a History & Community
As a mixed-race woman, it’s always felt like I’ve never quite been completely part of a culture’s history. Everything seems to relate to you in a way that’s almost-but-not-quite. But I’ve found comfort in the far-reaching, vibrant history of the gay community. For so many of us it was (and continues to be) impossible to meet other LGBTQ+ people in real life, so we turned to novels, ancient histories, the internet, etc. to see ourselves represented. Our culture is rich with the trauma and bravery of each generation. Our inside-jokes, camaraderie, and power goes back decades, if not centuries, and binds us to LGBTQ+ people of another time.
None of these changes in mental health, by the way, are exclusive to people who have ‘come out’. A lot of them had started happening before I told anyone that I was gay, and before I even admitted it to myself. So if you are reading this as an LGBTQ+ person just beginning to grapple with their place in the world, know that it isn’t all bad for people like us. We have faced challenges, yes, and we will face more; but we will always have the support of our incredible community to guide us through.
Did this piece resonate with you? Subscribe to keep up with other blogs like Pippa’s or share your own kahani here!